Friday, January 29, 2016

I love you but no

So here I am again, almost six months since my last post, again. It makes me sad when I think of the lists and lists of project ideas I like to create and posts that I want write. On almost a daily basis I ask myself "Where is all my time going? How do I get six months from even writing a draft of a post? Why am I letting things keep me from doing what I love? What keeps me away?" It's not my husband or children, they are what inspire me in the first place. And it's not laziness or lack of organization. I've come to the realization that I am over committed. Like most women I know, I have a really hard time saying "No". It's that "Yes, I can (fill in the blank here)" that fills in the next blank spot in my calendar that's eating my time, Oh, that beautiful blank spot that was going to let me try that pattern that has been collecting dust since I bought it a year ago. I've even said "Yes" so much that I have had to force myself to work on a project while listening to my husband play a board game with the kids that I would love to join in on. 

It's time for a change. It's time to regain some control of my time. So sadly, "I love you but no I can not.... sew on your childs scout badge" or make your window treatments" or help out the play by making costumes" or be in charge of this year's VBS craft table" or teach your child to sew" etc. At my present stage of life with 3 small children 80%-90% of my time is dedicated to my little family. I am reclaiming that 10%(ish) for my sanity. So, I love you but no and I know you love me so you will understand. There will be a day that my kids won't need or even want so much of me and I will have more to give but that day or year is not here yet. Be patient and don't forget about me or even stop asking for help but understand why I have to say "No" now. This "No"is going to allow me to say "yes" to so many other good things, like playing with my family, having the energy to talk to my husband in the evenings, catch up on my spiritual reading  and writing that blog post during naptime.

I am going to stop making promises too. I have hopes of being more consistent but I coming to accept that life is unpredictable, especially with three kids 5 and under. It never fails when I promise to do something someone gets sick or needs a little more loving attention then normal. The only promise I can make right now is to put my kids first and give them the love and attention they deserve.  I am going to work to stay very present and in the moment and not plan to far ahead. That said I am not going to promise any blog series or future post for patterns. My posts maybe very sporadic and lacking as much detail but as time permits I hope to give current crafting events and provide inspiration. 

Thanks for listening : )